14.2.16

Single-handed job

Hello fellow readers (anyone?),

I write to you from a different country. Yes, we moved, but more of that in another post. Today, I am here to talk about how my multitasking skills have improved in the last 4 months.

If you want to improve your multitasking skills, follow these steps:
1. Make a baby. If you need advice on how to make a baby, please, send me an e-mail and I will make a drawing for you. If you need advice on how to make a non-crying baby, give up right now. That is not a baby! That does not exist in the real world;
2. Wait roughly 9 months. Yes, 9 months is worth it, trust me;
3. If you're a woman, then go ahead and push him/her out of you. If you're a man, wait until the biological/surrogate mother does that extremely easy job (NOT) for you. And no, it's not men's fault biology works the way it works, so just deal with it, ladies;
4. Hold baby in one arm et voilà!!! If you have made more than one baby, you're basically screwed, unless you're Chuck Norris, then you will be just fine!

Easy, right?

I can do almost everything while holding a baby in one arm. Needless to say, that arm is usually the left (I am right-handed), and is probably stronger than the right one by now... But who cares?

2 comments:

Rita said...

You're my hero my friend :)

always thrilled to read some more of your posts...hopefully another one is coming soon.

Miss you 3!!!!!

Lucífera said...

Obrigada, minha querida! Miss you too!